MMI: The Three Stooges
Me picking The Three Stooges isn't a tongue-in-cheek maneuver. I'm not being meta. I seriously just dislike the movie. It's like someone took the concept of Dumb and Dumber to its extreme conclusion. I thought the plot was dumb. I thought the characters were dumb. I thought the jokes were dumb. "You must have hated the old show, so just can't appreciate the movie, you pompous critic." Hey, be nice. I watched re-runs when I was a kid and loved it. And after seeing the movie re-watched old episodes to see how I felt. There are sketches on the show I think are dumb too. But then there are still things that make me laugh. Do I like the show as much as I did when I was a child? No. But do I still enjoy parts of the show? Yeah. The movie was painful to me. It made me remember when I was 7 and running around outside with my friend Steven (at his house). Steven, barefoot, stepped on a rock and started and started wailing. His sister, older, maybe 11 or 12, I can't remember, said "Do you want me to make your foot not hurt as much?" Steven said yes. She smacked him. Hard. Steven, who had been jumping around on his non-rocked foot, stopped jumping and used two legs to keep from falling. He started to yell at and chase his sister. She ran a few feet, then stopped and said "How's the foot feel!" Steven stopped running. He gasped. Then said "Thanks". Me, being an only child, found all of this weird. But the lesson stuck. So while watching The Three Stooges I seriously considered punching myself in the face on more than one occasion.
Cinema Beans: Argo
I can always appreciate when movies extract intense emotions from the viewer. But that doesn't cure my frustration regarding the incessant and undeserving praise being thrown at Ben Affleck's Argo--an emotionally manipulative thriller that knows nothing about emotion or thrill. And as far as "wanting to punch myself in the face goes", the last few months have been a ticking time bomb for my fist: the standing ovation it got at my screening; the prospect that it may win Best Picture; and (worst of all) my friend describing her "visceral" to the hostage shooting scene--a scene that gets my vote for "Worst Scene of the Year". There is absolutely no relation to this random hostage shooting scene and the reading of the script (other than a parallel between fiction and reality (which actually doesn't work, considering Affleck is MAKING MOST OF THIS SHIT UP)), rendering this scene (and countless others) completely empty and void of any non-belittling construction. I rarely let a film get to me this much, but sometimes I just can't help it.
FilmEd's 2012 50 awards in 50 days: award 4: the movie that most made you want to punch yourself in the face