I’m torn about Haywire. I liked the fight scenes. I loved the running-on-the-beach-into-leaping-punch maneuver. I liked seeing the kid from Sky High make progress in his career. But I hated the music. I thought the plot elements were insanely cliche (OH LOOK THE SPY IS BETRAYED). And I seriously hated the music. The long scene where the girl is running and a bunch of cops are chasing her. That was my least favorite sequence in any movie in...years. The end of the movie is beyond cliche. But if this movie had had a dinosaur. Then I’d be able to say with confidence “I like Haywire.” If it had the girl tame a T-Rex and take vengeance while riding a T-rex, I would LOVE Haywire. It’d automatically be my #1 movie ever. Even if it were the same movie but in a sci-fi setting and dinosaurs were marauding around but had no impact on the plot, that would have been fine. Even if it was just a dinosaur that ran through the woods and hit the car, rather than a deer, and it was never addressed again, I would have been like “HOLY SHIT, WHAT A COOL THING TO PUT INTO A MOVIE!” :-/
Cinema Beans: The Hunger Games
A dinosaur would have pleased for myriad of reasons. I mean, a dinosaur in any movie would instantly up the Cool Factor by at least 20%. And I guess I could sit here, writing with my tongue snugly in cheek, condescendingly writing how “hahaha The Hungers Games sucked and a dinosaur would have actually made it good!” But in all honestly I don’t hateThe Hunger Games. Despite owning a pretty rockin’ concept, I found the overall execution in regards to characters and their motivations/relationships (much like the book) very “meh” and unadventurous.
My desire for a dinosaur in the film stems from an intense migraine induced whenever anyone totes their literature-is-holier-than-film attitude and merely judges a film based on how closely it follows the source novel. Jesus, the blogosphere battlefield that was aftermath of the Harry Potter films was ridden with more bodies than that goddamn culmitave battle with Voldermort. I couldn’t possibly care a smidgen less about the fact that the Death Eaters fly around in those weird, smoky black wisps. So while I hate when these people begin their regurgitated, unsubstantial complaints, I also get a little satisfaction when films are able to tweak their source material and recognize what their specific medium has to offer. And I get satisfaction from their pain...so a dinosaur in Hunger Games? That would have sent millions of teenaged girls into a fucking frenzy. And it would have been hilarious.
This is a loaded award, by the way. What movie wouldn’t benefit from a T-Rex? By this logic, all movies should be required to have a dinosaur. It can become this fun little game! "Where is it? Was that a Pterodactyl or an airplane?!" It could become this whole Where’s Waldo game. I’m going to start a petition on the White House’s website.